A Fast Pace or a Steady Race?

One month into my seminary studies, I've found one particular issue weighing on my conscience more heavily than any other: Am I really doing all that I can for God?

You see, when you factor in the demands on a seminarian's time (communal prayer and Mass, class, specific times for meals, formation, spiritual direction, service in the community) and then add in things like exercise, personal prayer time, reading, homework, etc., the amount of time in the day just doesn't seem like it's enough. I know that time-management issues aren't exclusive to those seeking to marry the Church; as a matter of fact, I had quite the busy routine in my college career as well and I've seen many others struggle with the same issues. However, in an honest attempt to make myself the best version of 'me' possible, I'm trying to make the right decisions regarding what I am doing with my every moment. As I evaluate the last month here at Mundelein, I can't help but ask myself: Am I falling into the routines that are truly going to conform me to Christ? Am I really too busy or tired to [insert activity], or am I just making excuses for myself?

It seems almost impossible to do it all, but am I doing enough?

More often than not, I go to bed wishing I could have gotten around to just one or two more things in my day; I'd stay up to accomplish them, but losing sleep only makes the following day's work suffer. The heart of the issue is whether to bear these 'shortcomings' with patience or to drive myself to further discipline. The line must surely be walked with caution; to push myself too hard would end just as poorly as to continue my life making excuses to God.

In the end, the questions go unanswered. I only thank God for the wonderful support system that I have found here in the past month. The staff is excellent (I wish I could even begin to describe how truly amazing the faculty here is both intellectually and personally) and the community with my brother seminarians is incredible.

God, grant me the grace to know your will in my daily activities.

St. Charles Borromeo, patron saint of seminarians, pray for us!